being real
Friday, August 24, 2012It's hard to believe that after all of my years of blogging (livejournal, tumblr, wordpress, blogger... the list goes on) that I still haven't really figured it out.
I have all of these grand ideas of what I'd love my space to be, but mostly, I just want it to be a place I'm happy with, that captures my life. These days, what I need it to be is a place where I can write for myself, and be real with myself. The fact of the matter is that this "realness" and authenticity is what keeps people coming back.
I don't think I've been real with myself for years.
Being real means exposing yourself and - especially online - people can take advantage of that. I want to be real and honest but the truth of the matter is that I'm not sure I'm a strong enough person to endure the kind of responses that some people get. I was teased and bullied as a kid (not even a kid really, try grade seven through ten) and I still carry a lot of those insecurities with me - yes, this many years later. That kind of thing has a bad habit of staying with you, and shaping you. My mother told me that week that I hold things close to the vest and I thought: really? I'd always thought I was an open book. It's funny how different things can look from the outside.
So here I am; saying that I want to open up, be myself, and tell you about my life. I know it's quiet out there right now, dear readers, but I hope you'll stay a while and hear what I've got to say.
5 comments
Is there a reason why you feel you need to share on a blog? Why open yourself up to criticism? What do you hope to achieve?
ReplyDeleteSorry, I didn't mean to be rude or offend. It's just that if you are scared of being real, why expose yourself? Having a blog is not a requirement of life, it is a choice, so I was just wondering why you would choose to do it.
DeleteI think all bloggers deal with this to some extent. But maybe it's my way of justifying why I deal with this issue? Kind of like how I tell myself that all people have the thoughts, some just get over them easier than I do. Either way, I applaud you and I can't wait to hear what you have to say.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading you for a little while and I like the person I see/read about on here. It may be hard to open yourself up to the world, but it can also be very rewarding. I wish I was in the position to do it myself, but unfortunately my career wouldn't allow it. Ultimately, I think it would be awesome to read about some of your experiences growing up and how they have shaped you into who you are today- photos too maybe? Based on conversations I've had with other adults, I'm honestly shocked how many attractive, intelligent, and interesting people were bullied growing up. Don't let things those people said/did get you down now- you're awesome- embrace it.
ReplyDeleteI think no matter where and how you open up in life, whether it be online or in person, people are always going to criticise you. It's the story of life but I think not taking that risk wont give people a chance to get to know the real you and if they don't get to know the real you, you might miss out on many opportunities to meet new and exciting people. I had the same thing with my blog, wondering what I should write and if people will care. In the end if you don't take the risk you'll never know.
ReplyDeleteBut I would personally love to hear about you and what you have to say. (already following your blog)
- B
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