I'm that person that turns to my husband over dinner and says "next date night lets try that new Thai place around the corner."

And then we don't.

I'm that person who always picks up the black or grey sweater. Do any other options exist?

I'm that person who says, "yeah I want to go back there someday with someone I actually like" (New York) and "I really want to see [that show] again" (Mystère).

And then I don't.

It gets tiring after a while, you know? And maybe it's the new year fast approaching (it's definitely the new year fast approaching) but I've been thinking about all those things I say I'll do, but don't. And, well, these are some of those things that I'm going to try my hardest to do soon.

My Must-Get-Around-to-Doing-That-Soon List

Book (and take) that vacation to Mexico for our fifth anniversary next year
Read more classics
Stop comparing myself to others
Publish my second book
Quarterly organization of DJ's closet
Buy a new journal for 2016 (preferably before 2016 begins)
Try one new restaurant each month for date night
Go back to Bardot for the beet and goat cheese salad
Host a wine and cheese party
Try one of those wine and paint places
Spend a Christmas in Canada
Stop comparing myself to others
Give up caffeine for a month
Give up alcohol for a month
Be more patient
Finish reading The Most of Nora Ephron
Have updated family photos taken
Do something wildly out of my comfort zone

As 2016 approaches and I begin thinking about my fourth (!!!) year of documenting with Project Life, I'm really trying to look back and think about what worked and didn't work for me this year. I did a lot of experimenting these past eleven months, and as such I definitely have a much better idea of what I like and don't like. If you're interested, I've talked a little about what worked and didn't before. Actually, I've written about it more than once (see: here and here as well).

As life moves on and gets busier, I've definitely had to re-evaluate how I do things. It's all about getting things done well the first time around. As such, here are my plans for 2016:

1. Format. This will be changing in 2016. I'm still going to work weekly, but I'm only going to do a half a spread per week. Meaning each spread will cover a two week period. This will help me to really focus on the highlights of the week and; it will keep printing costs down, and means I can fit the year into one album. This is important to me. Two albums a year just adds up too quickly.
2. The size. I've been working in 12x12 since I first started project life, but I'm doing something a little different this time around. I will be working with this, (my favorite) 12x12 album, but I will be using 9x12 pages inside. I just think this is the best size for me.
3. Dividers. I'm definitely sticking with these clear ones again; I still find the colorful ones too distracting.
4. Printing at home. Yes, it is more expensive in the long run, but it's convenient and really the only way that I am able to stay as up to date as I do.
5. Title cards. I jump back and forth a lot on this one, and honestly: I think that I will just go with whatever I feel like each week. However, now that I'm only using half a spread per week, I may incorporate the title card into a photo (either adding the dates digitally before printing or adding a stamp after the fact).
6. Minimal embellishments. This won't change: I'll stick to things like wood veneers, stamps and the occasional little extras.
7. Point of View. Oh my gosh. I say this every year but I really need to incorporate more of my husband in my album. Unfortunately I'm picky about how things look so I don't often ask my hubby to journal anything because it won't match with my writing. I'll have to work on a way to include him that satisfies this!
8. Consistency. This is probably the biggest thing that I struggle with from week to week. There may be consistency within my weekly spreads, but they vary greatly from week to week. Of course a lot of this has to do with being inspired to try new things throughout the year, and I would never discourage trying new things! I do want to have at least one thing that I do the same every week; whether it's how I date my title cards or a journal prompt I include.

I've talked about this before, but it bears repeating: memory keeping is not meant to be a chore. It's not something meant to frustrate you or make you feel guilty. It is a gift that you are giving yourself, your family, and anyone else you share your albums with. Anyone can do it, I am not the exception to the rule. I simply have the right attitude: the memory keeping attitude.

I would love to hear how you're approaching Project Life in 2016, so please fill me in by commenting below, and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask away.

I still almost can't believe it. I'm finally up to date in sharing my project life spreads! Man, that's a good feeling. I'm not going to beat around the bush, friends, so here's November.

That's right, this mama is finally catching up on her Project Life posts! I actually debated sharing these spreads because with the exception of one, I consider them to be some of the weakest spreads I've put together in a while.

I actually started up another 6-month studio calico subscription in hopes that some new designs and products would help lift me out of my funk.

But anyways, I digress. Here are my spreads from October.

I take my seat on the worn, red chair with the sliver of sunlight shining on it, and pull my MacBook from my purse. I’ve positioned myself in the fiction section between shelves sixteen and seventeen, somewhere amongst Davis-Downs and Doyle-Evaristo. I can see the covers of Evanovich and Griffin, Grisham and Eugenides; the latter being one of my favorite recent reads. My love of writing is succeeded only by my love of reading, so it’s no real surprise that I like to settle in here at the library to write down the words swimming in my head. The only thing that would make this better is if I had a coffee in hand, but I drove right past three Starbucks on the way here without it crossing my mind.

I’ll have to do without. 

Yesterday my husband told me that he is in awe of the writing that I have done this year. He “doesn’t know how I do it.” Sometimes I’m tempted to agree with him, and find myself wonder how I do it day after day, but then I remember that I simply can’t not.

I’m a bit of a fritter-er. I jump from one thing to the next without much thought, without finishing one project. I used to think that it meant something was wrong with me, but something I read lately – of course, I read it – reminded me that it only means my interests are vast. I want to dip my toes in everything to see if it’s something I could like. A lot of the time it isn’t, and that’s okay; it’s oddly comforting to know that I at least tried. 

But sometimes that little dip of my toes isn’t enough, and I want to jump in. For years – most of my childhood and adult life, really – I was simply dipping my toes in when it came to writing. Until this year. 

Two thousand and fifteen. I jumped right in, feet first, became fully submerged. And I don’t think I can ever look back. 

Writers are always asked why they want to write. Do they want to be famous? Are they in it for the money? Maybe they want to write that book that they wish existed. Maybe they’re inspired by all the reading they do. 

I’m not sure where I fit in just yet. Right now, I’m just doing it for the love of the game. Maybe one day, years from now, I’ll settle in here at the library again; maybe I’ll look for the same spot, between shelves sixteen and seventeen, running my fingers along the cool, black shelving until finding what I came for: Del, Rachel. 

Wouldn’t that be a lovely sight? 

Wouldn’t that be a lovely feeling? 

Wouldn’t that just make all the hard work worth it? The late nights, the cramped hands, the long ago out of control coffee consumption, the missed outings with friends; wouldn’t it all be justified? 

I like to think so. 

And that’s why I keep writing, coffee or no coffee.

To say that I'm behind in sharing my spreads would be an understatement, but I'm finally catching up. Here is September, which oddly seems so long ago.

"We need to move away from this constant need of coming across as calm, cool and collected. We weren’t built to be calm, cool, and collected. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so exhausted all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings. Why should we have to stifle our true nature? Let’s go after the things we want, let’s love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Let’s release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us."

Outside:  we're finally turning the page on all this triple digit weather and I couldn't be happier. While summer does bring about a feeling of freedom that you don't experience at any other time, I also find the season stifling. I'm ready for fall. My favorite. I've already started sorting through my sweaters and trying to decide what else - if anything - I need for the upcoming season.

Inside:  I'm filling all the spaces with books and words and love and memories.

Hoping:   that people will continue to read my novella and find even an ounce of comfort in it, be intrigued by it, or simply enjoy it. As Ksenia Anske said, "Are you willing to strip in public? Are you willing to show all that you are and were and will be? Because your books are your guts on paper, nothing more." I know what she means.

Wanting:   more time. To do it all. To read and write and play with my son and relax with my husband. I'm busier than I can ever remember being and it is beginning to weigh on me. I don't fall asleep as quickly as I used to and I wake with a swarm of thoughts in my head that won't leave me alone until I climb out of bed in the darkness.

Eating:   so little. With the business and stress comes a decreased appetite. It always happens.

Listening:   to Elizabeth Gilbert's new podcast, Magic Lessons, which continues to fill up my tank with each and every episode. It's well worth a listen.

Remembering:   the sense of calm that washed over me as I got off the plane in Nashville last week. Surrounded by greenery and music and newness... I felt more alive than I had in months.

Writing:   Fixing Tanner, the sequel to Finding Lily. This one has been moving slower, taking its time. But I'm feeling okay about that as I can already feel myself growing and learning as a writer. Finding Lily was my baby, but this one... this book has my heart.

"All I know for certain is that this is how I want to spend my life - collaborating to the best of my ability with forces of inspiration that I can neither see, nor prove, nor command, nor understand.

It's a strange line of work, admittedly.

I cannot think of a better way to pass my days."

Let me just begin by saying that I can't believe this day is here. My contemporary romance novella, Finding Lily, is now officially for sale on Amazon!

The Synopsis:

Lily Gardner thought she'd found her soul mate when she met and married the handsome and well-off Thomas Gardner. But six years later, with a two-year-old in tow, she finds herself wading through the messy waters of divorce, and crying herself to sleep at night wondering if she's lost her chance at love... and herself in the process. When she's assigned the task of working with Nathan Trainor to reel in a popular author who is seeking new representation, she must put her troubles aside and do whatever it takes to get the job done.

At once touching and hopeful, FINDING LILY captures what it feels like to be given a second chance at life... and love.

--

You can purchase the ebook here and the paperback copy is also available. If you're interested in a signed copy, let me know: I may sell them in my etsy shop.

Cheers everyone, and thank you for joining me on this journey. It's about to get really interesting.

I have to tell you that I'm currently two weeks behind in my 2015 album and it is really rubbing me the wrong way. There was a part of me that wanted to panic, but then I decided that I'm simply going to combine the two weeks into one spread, especially since they weren't the most photo-heavy weeks. Done is better than perfect, friends. Remember that one.

Now, read on to see my August pages!

"I think of writing simply in terms of pleasure. It's the most important thing in my life: making things. Much as I love my husband and children, I love them only because I am the person who makes these things. And because that person does that all the time, that person is able to love all these people."

I'm really not a trendy person. There may be some styles that come and go that I fall in love with (hellloooo super flared jeans I will always love you!), but overall, I dress in clothes that make me feel good and do my hair in ways that hopefully make me look more put together than I really am.

The half-up knot. I've gone back and forth with this one, friends. I see some women who can absolutely rock in, and then see it look terrible on others. Look it up on pinterest and you'll see a lot of photos of women that fall in to both camps.

Well. I gave it a shot yesterday and honestly, I can't make a decision either way, which is where you come in. Yay, or nay to my version of the half-up knot?

That's right, it's time for another writing update. Last month I was updating you on my debut novella, Finding Lily (which comes out on Amazon Kindle on Sept 22, and is available for pre order now). This month, I'm working on the sequel, Fixing Tanner.

You can always count on me to take a photograph. I'll take thirty if you let me.

But lately, I have felt a tugging at my bones to try something new, and to open myself up in a different way. This is: my attempt at a beginning. This is: September.

I truly believe that indie authors need to support one another, which is why I was more than happy to purchase and read these books.

1. The Book of Brave - I've been a big fan of Laura Jane Williams ever since I discovered her on thought catalog. Her brutal honesty about life, love, work and sex is absolutely refreshing. The moment I heard about her book I got on my computer and purchased it. The Book of Brave has something for every woman; it is a collection of stories and reflections on how Laura came to love herself, and how she continues to fight for that love every single day. It is a truly inspirational read.

2. These Are The Moments - #TATM isn't a book I would usually pick up, but I am a follower of Jenny Bravo's blog, Blots & Plots, and really just wanted to support her. I don't leave many book reviews, but I felt so compelled to write her one, because that's how much this book surprised me. I found her characters loveable and very relatable and am looking forward to her prequel.

3. Something Like The Desert - I am quite literally in awe of Kristen; from the way she lives her life with such intention and presence, to her truly incredible words; she is a real treasure. I absolutely loved this book and pull it off of my bookshelf often, devouring her stories in a different way each time.

4. Coming Clean - I read this on my kindle months ago and it was one of those books that I couldn't bear to put down. It's a memoir of Kim's life growing up trying to hide the fact that her parents are hoarders. So. Very. Good. And also one of Amazon's top 100 books in 2013.

5. The Unfolding: A Collection of 21 Tiny Tales - This is such a lovely small book of stories, which now sits on my bookshelf next to Something Like The Desert. The tales feel familiar and heartwarming and I'm certain that I will come back to this book often as months go by.

I've always been a morning person. BC (before child) I could basically make my mornings look however I wanted them to, but with a two year old running around, I have to be more deliberate with how I spend my time. These days my mornings usually look a little something like this: I set my alarm for 5am and lay in bed for a few minutes to brush off the sleep and wake up. I'll pad downstairs and make myself a cup of coffee or tea and then sit down to write until my son wakes up anytime between 6:15 and 6:45am.

In order to start my day off on the right foot, it's so important that I get a slow and quiet start to my mornings, because from the moment my son gets up until I go to bed at night I am go go go with mothering, work, meal preparations, cleaning, personal projects and time with my husband. I find that the days that my morning coffee and a read/writing are cut short, I'm less patient and just all around unfocused.

So that's my simple morning routine. What's yours like?

Number of photos taken today: 16

Here's a look at Sunday.

Number of photos taken today: 40

Today went pretty much the same way most Saturdays go. Slow and simple.

Here's a look at my Saturday.

Number of photos taken today: 27

This is how most of my Fridays look lately. They always involve work. They almost always involve take out for dinner. And they usually involve a writing session at Panera.

Here's a look at my Friday.

Number of photos taken today: 23

Because DJ was back home with this, Thursday felt like a more realistic and complete sample of our every day. I took less photos today than any other day, but still loving the project.

Here's a look at how my Thursday went.

You can find it here.

Number of photos taken today: 53

Last time I took part in this project I remember beginning to feel a little burned out around this time, but I'm feeling great. Documenting the everyday is kind of my jam.

Here's a look at how my Wednesday went.

Number of photos taken today: 22

And I made it through Monday unscathed! I actually already love seeing how my days are different from when I did this project last year. Mainly, I now work full-time and DJ spends 2 days with his grandparents and 3 day in daycare. And Dom now works a full-time job in addition to his real estate work. Basically, we're all a lot more busy than we were back in October/November.

Here's a little look at my Tuesday.

Number of photos taken today: 55

And I made it through Monday unscathed! I actually already love seeing how my days are different from when I did this project last year. Mainly, I now work full-time and DJ spends 2 days with his grandparents and 3 day in daycare. And Dom now works a full-time job in addition to his real estate work. Basically, we're all a lot more busy than we were back in October/November.

Here's a little peek into my day:

 Next week begins a #weekinthelife and while it's only my second year taking part, I definitely know ahead of time what I will be able to keep up with, and what will quickly drive me batty. For one: I need to keep things simple, just like I did last year. Unlike last year, I'm now working full-time so I'm going to simplify things even more this time around.

It's a #projectlife bonanza today as I'm sharing all of my July spreads!

For something a little different, I decided to make a quick video to give you an update on how things are going with #FindingLilyNovel. It should be titled something like "Me being awkward as I try to tell you about how hard the editing process is"

Happy Wednesday! Today's shop update may be a small one, but it's one I'm excited about. If you've been around since I opened my shop almost one year ago, you may remember the original Here + There set. Well, today's shop update is a new and improved version of that set, called - go figure - Here and There No.2 and it's $1.00 off today and tomorrow only.

As always, I love seeing what you do with my collections. If you post on instagram, be sure to use the hashtag #bigcityquietdesigns so that I can see your lovely creations and share then with my followers!

When we bought this chair I used to sit in it in the darkness of the freshly painted nursery, rubbing my seven month pregnant belly and wonder what it would feel like to nurse my son right in that spot. And once we stopped nursing I thought about how it would feel to sit with him on my lap and read to him in that chair. Now I catch glimpses of what he will look like as he grows and uses that chair for other things like reading on his own, listening to music, maybe just sitting and enjoying life.

This morning we heard him playing in his room but things had gotten quiet so I poked my head around the corner to see him sitting there, his one leg tucked against his chest, his blanket in a bunch on his lap, his hands crossed just so, the light filtering in from the window beside him...

He just looked so beautiful that I ran for my camera, actually sprinting down the stairs and back up again, so happy to have captured this moment. I will hold it forever in my heart.

It is absolutely driving me crazy that I'm over a month behind in posting my spreads, but I've been super focused on writing my novella, and lots of other stuff seems to have fallen by the way side. Here I am though, with the first two spreads of June.

I've had a couple people tell me that I'm moving too fast. On one hand, I can understand why they feel that way, but on the other, I can't help but think: you don't know how long I've been working towards this point. There has always been a rattling against my ribs urging me to write. It's been there so long that it's simply a part of me now.

The first draft of #FindingLilyNovel poured out of me in the span of a month. The end is so near I can taste it. But I need people to read it. Why?

1. So that I can make the novella better. The more eyes I can get on this draft the better. Beta readers can find plot holes, tell you if they want to know more about a character (or less), tell you where they're confused and what they love.
2. So that they can point out what I cannot see because it's too close to me. There are scenes that I'm in love with that may, in the end, be of zero use the moving the story forward. Beta readers will likely pick up on this.
3. Because Ksenia Anske said to. And so did Jenny Bravo. 

I'm looking for my first round of beta readers now, so check out how to apply.
Edit: thank you to all who applied. Applications are now closed.

In the end all I want is a book that I can be proud of. Beta readers will help me to do that, and I assure you that they will help you too.

Outside: our bathing suits are perpetually drying on the clothing line, our fingers and toes wrinkled from all the time we're spending cooling off in the pool. I watch DJ grow more adventurous with every passing day, dipping further and further into the water, a perpetual smile plastered on his curious face. He is the best thing I have done in life. 

Inside: after another night of waking some time after midnight to kick off the thick bedspread, I bought a beautiful coral herringbone blanket to take its place. How something so small as this has me smiling from ear to ear each time I walk into the bedroom, I will never understand, but I'm grateful for everything uplifting in my life.

Hoping: that the words keep flowing the way they have been as of late. It felt as though my first book simply poured out of me, and I'm crossing all fingers that this next one does the same. I can't put into words just how much more I feel like myself when the words are flowing.

Wanting: like last month, I'm wanting something to look forward to.

Eating: my first taste of Indian food since my trip to San Francisco in 2012. I sat across the table from a friend who told me about how her past is affecting her future as I sat in quiet agreement. If only the past didn't shape who we are today I would say to hell with it.

Listening: to my body when it says slow down; to my heart when it says be still; and to my son when he is saying be patient.

Remembering: how beautiful my hometown is in the fall; the way the streets explode in red, yellow and orange and the nights become still. 

Writing:  as though I have found a space where I might just fit in perfectly.

I was 16 when I fell in love for the first time, and like any young girl at that age, I thought he was the be all and end all. I had no idea that there would be others after him.

He was sweet and kind, with big, light brown eyes and a smile that made everything seem instantly better, and I loved him. For over four years, we loved each other.  And when our relationship came to its end, when it became clear that we weren't meant to be forever, I lost more than the love of a boy. I lost the love of a village; of friends and family who had been so intertwined in my life that I didn't know where I ended and they began.

Often times I'm grateful that I moved away; that I don't have to worry about the memories associated with places, things and people. I spent too much of my twenties running away from my mistakes and regrets. Here in Vegas, there is only Dominic; there are only our places, our things, our people. And all the dust and dirt and debris from my past is back there in Canada somewhere, floating around, unnoticed.

And all that's ahead of me is him, and us, and this family we have built.

I've been quiet, but for good reason. To quote Suzy: "So, I'm writing a book."

It has flown out of me so organically that I almost can't believe it's nearly complete. To say that I'm one to start stories and never finish them is an understatement; and that is why, even if this book never sees the light of day, it will always be a huge accomplishment for me.

Soon, I will be editing... and that scares me more than writing this book ever has, because I'm afraid to look at it so closely that I could find holes. Though, I suppose that's the whole purpose to editing.

All of this is to say that I'll certainly come up for air soon. Until then, here are some words that I strung together to begin my book:


They weren’t always this way.

In fact, Lily and Thomas Gardner used to be happy. The kind of happy that made most people envious, sick to their stomachs, or likely some combination of the two.

Thomas was the first man Lily had ever deemed worthy to let all the way in to her life. Before him she had known only liars and cheats, boyfriends who worked too much or too little and didn’t know a healthy relationship from a hole in the wall.

The intensity in which Thomas pursued her in the beginning made her weak in the knees. All the flowers, the expensive dinners, the opening and closing of car doors, the intense eye contact, and texts throughout the day all culminated in one thing: her absolute undoing.

Happy Wednesday! And to my Canadian friends and family: Happy Canada Day!

I've updated my shop with three new digital products, Sunny Days and Summer Fresh, geared towards documenting your summer adventures. I'm so excited to share these with you because they're bright and fun, and add the perfect pop of color to your project life spreads and other projects. Lastly, is Happy Fourth, designed to help you document your summer celebrations.
All three sets are 15% off today only.

As always, I love seeing what you do with my collections. If you post on instagram, be sure to use the hashtag #bigcityquietdesigns so that I can see your lovely creations and share then with my followers!

There are things happening, new things and uncharted territory. I'm trying new things and stepping outside of my comfort zone. It feels oh so good.

I was yelling. Dom was yelling. And DJ kept on crying, like he had been all day.

Some days I can breathe deeply, consciously, and calm myself down. Some days I can remind myself that he's only two and that we're all still learning to communicate with each other.

Today was not one of those days.

We were tired, the trio of us: from battling colds, ear infections, poor sleep and skipped naps. The 107 degree heat perhaps affecting us more than we realize. So: there was yelling.

At four-thirty, Dom called in reinforcements: his aunt, to relieve us for two hours so that we could step out and get our bearings on the day and our attitudes.

We went to the movies. Sat in the back row. Enjoyed some noise other than that going on at home.

And when we got home I lunged upstairs, desperate to catch DJ before he was asleep, overjoyed to find him waiting up in our bed. As Dom's aunt slipped out, I pulled DJ close and whispered to him how much I love him.

I turned off all the lights, drew the curtains shut and lay down beside him, sighing deep from within my bones as he tucked his little body against mine, as close as he could get. His eyes were growing heavier by the second, fluttering shut and opening again only briefly to make certain I was still there, his mouth in a faint 'o' shape, pursed. With a deep sigh, he tucked his hand under his cheek, took one last look at me, and closed his eyes for the night.

I lay there in the near dark, staring at his perfect little face, and cried.

With every tear I released the guilt of the day, the weight of expectations, regret, and exhaustion.

No mama is perfect, and we're all just trying to do the best we can, making what we can out of each messy day.

Lately, I've found that something curious has been happening... curious for me anyways. I've been finding and selecting books to read in a whole different way than what I'm used to.

Before DJ, with much more time on my hands, I would scour bookstores and the library, taking my time to decide on a few books to purchase or borrow. I was known to walk out of the library with five books at once. I would read anything, really, even if I wasn't feeling it. As Elise recently said, "Life is too short to waste time on a book you're not connecting with," and I couldn't agree more, kids or no kids.

These days, I find myself relying heavily (almost solely) on suggestions from friends online. It's nearly impossible, when I see someone I admire online posting about a book they loved, for me not to look into what the story is about. Having tried to read one of Jojo Moyes books over a year ago and not getting past the second page, I probably would never have picked up Me Before You, if it weren't for Meg.

And what a terrible shame that would have been, because it was so stunningly sad and incredible.

Anyways, it got me wondering about how you all find and select what books you read? I'd love to hear from you.

Isn't it amazing the way the taste of food can transport us?

Recently, I was rushing around grocery shopping and mailing packages alongside many other errands and my stomach had started growling at me mercilessly. As a last minute thing, I threw a package of seaweed salad into my basket and headed for the check out line.

Back home, groceries put away, I sat down at my desk, thumbed through my email and dove into the salad... and was transported through space and time, right back to the first time I ever tried it.

My memories are powerful - it was 2007 and I had only recently come to discover how incredible sushi was. It was a work day, one of my first few at my first "real job" post College, and a group of us were out for lunch at a sushi bar just down the road from our office. It was pretty legit in terms of sushi restaurants: we knelt on long cushions on the floor and were given no cutlery. Their salmon nigiri was to die for and their saki remains to this day the only saki I've ever liked.

Someone suggested I try the seaweed salad, which naturally, sounded disgusting, but I remember at that moment, feeling as though ordering the mysteriously unnatural green, slimy salad would somehow make up for all the other times I've erred on the side of caution. Read: all the times I was plain chicken-shit to try anything new.

And so I ordered the seaweed salad, and it was glorious.

I was so young back then, though of course I didn't feel that way then, and I thought I was happy. I had just moved in with my then-boyfriend into a two-bedroom apartment that nearly overlooked the park and was taking pride in my new life of caring for a household and someone other than myself.

It’s like this for many of my food memories, a single ingredient - or even the smell of one - that has me imagining a scene from my past.

I no longer work for that company, no longer live in the same town or even Country, and no longer speak with any of the people that I ate lunch with that day, but every time I pop a mouthful of that salad into my mouth, I'm right back there, as if the last eight years never existed. And that's a powerful thing.

I design a lot of project life cards that don't make it into any of my sets that go up for sale. It doesn't mean I don't love them, or that they are somehow inferior; usually I just can't make them 'blend' into a set I'm working on, so they sit (and sit and sit).

Happy Wednesday! I've updated my shop with three new digital products geared towards documenting your everyday adventures from your to-do list, to what you had for dinner, to the conversation with your partner over that same meal. I'm particularly excited to share the new Days of the Week No.3 set with you because they're bright and fun, and add the perfect pop of color to your project life spreads and other projects.

Also, as my birthday is this weekend, I'm working on a special freebie for you all that I will be sharing on Sunday, so make sure to keep an eye out for that.

As always, I love seeing what you do with my collections. If you post on instagram, be sure to use the hashtag #bigcityquietdesigns so that I can see your lovely creations and share then with my followers!

I recently began spending time with a new friend. How we ever came to be introduced has escaped me now (she's likely a friend of a friend of my husbands, or something like that), but that's beyond the point, anyways.

The first time we hung out together we went to dinner; two hours of filling ourselves with sushi and easy conversation. After the second time we went out, a week later, for coffee, I went home to my husband, excited.

"I feel like I'm back in the dating days, and I've just come home from a really great second date where you realize you could really see something with this person."

"I feel like she probably needs a good friend even more than you do."

"I feel really bad for her if that's true," I said, but the truth is that I hoped he was right. I hoped that she drove home from our mid-day coffee feeling like she had found a friend that she could really spend time with, really confide in, the way I did.

Over coffee she told me, among other things, that she was meeting a new friend for dinner that night. I felt instantly jealous, like I was already losing her friendship to someone else. She told me only that she seemed "quirky," leaving the rest to my imagination.

When her name popped up my iPhone screen later that night I practically leapt up to get it. She had just returned from dinner, reciting something a little funny and a little silly that had happened.  I immediately texted back.

Too funny. Otherwise, how was it? New best friend?

My heart was pounding. I'd been in this city for four years and while I had met some truly lovely people, I had yet to build a friendship even remotely close to the ones I had left behind when I moved. Laura was the only one who I felt could possibly fill this emptiness.

I stick to my original statement, she said, but the food was good.

In reality, even if she had a great time with this other person, it didn't mean that we couldn't develop a real friendship. Still, I felt only nervousness.

Not everyone can be as awesome as us, I texted back. What I was really saying was: please see something awesome in me. Please please please.

A truer statement may never have been uttered, she responded, and I thought: I'll take it.

It meant I wasn't being replaced before our friendship had really even gotten off the ground. It meant I wasn't being looked over the way I had so many times in my past. It meant I still had time.

It meant more coffee dates, and if there's one thing life needs, it's more time gabbing with girlfriends over hot beverages.

I'm meeting a girlfriend for coffee in one hour, but I've settled into my usual seat now, with a red eye nearby, hopeful to form some words into logical, if not poetic, sentences. I had thought it would be busy in here over lunch, but it's just me and the two baristas (I can't help but think of Suzy and her fear of introducing herself to the barista she sees every week).

I haven't written anything substantial in a few months now, and it's making me feel all kinds of squirmy and incomplete. Writing has always been how I work through and make sense of everything. So when nothing is coming out I feel: less than.

Right before I left for the coffee shop a friend sent me the name of a book of writing prompts that she thought might help me out of my dry spell. I promised to give them a go once I was settled in.

Instead, I'm writing here.

I'm beginning to think that the problem is not just that I'm not writing, but that I have far too many ideas; far too many memories begging to be documented, that I don't know where to begin. And so I don't. I simply don't start.

It kind of reminds me of how when someone asks how you are, we always respond with the socially acceptable "fine, thank you" when it fact we could be feeling the exact opposite. If we're being honest, there's much more to it then that; but we know they're not really asking the way we wish they were.

"How are you?"

"Good, thanks."

And now I've gone off on a tangent...

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sitting here in this coffee shop, hoping that the powers at be send me something, anything, to get me out of this slump of mine.

But if that fails, I may as well go order a second coffee and introduce myself to the barista.

Last week I went to the movies with a girlfriend and while the ads ran we talked about our lives. There was talk of our sons (her: two, me: one), our husbands, our busy days and then: our homes. She recently moved into the home of her dreams, and after talking about that for a while, she turned things around saying, "what about you? Are you still loving your place?"
This October will mark four years that we have been in this house, which is entirely too strange to think about as come January it will have been five years since I moved to Las Vegas.

I thought of my girlfriends' question again this morning as I was playing around on the family room floor with my son, and was suddenly overcome with this intense need to document how the room looked right then, in that very moment.

 
We do everything in this room. It is the play room, the movie theater, where we snack between meals, where I work or curl up on the couch with a good book. It is where we entertain friends and family most often. It is the room where DJ learned to crawl, and then walk. It is full of memories.

This is the space in which we spend the most time together as a family, and in three months it could look completely different. Life is fleeting, dear friends, you need to forever embrace the little things.

"So I’m saying enough. No more. Let’s start a little revolution, shall we? Lets take our bodies back and let’s start by changing the way we speak about them."

Go read, now.

"We suffer, often unknowingly, from wanting to be in two places at once, from wanting to experience more than one person can. This is a form of greed, of wanting everything. Feeling like we're missing something or that we're being left out, we want it all. But being human, we can't have it all. The tension of all this can lead to an insatiable search, where our passion for life is stirred, but never satisfied. When caught in this mindset, no amount of travel is enough, no amount of love is enough, no amount of success is enough... The truth is that one experience taken to heart will satisfy our hunger. "
- Mark Nepo (via megfee.com)

I'm super happy to announce FOUR new releases this month. All are available in the shop now! These are lovely and minimal, making them the perfect addition to your project life spreads. For those of you who are pregnant, or who are going back and documenting their pregnancy, I've got two great sets for you.

As always, I love seeing what you do with my collections. If you post on instagram, be sure to use the hashtag #bigcityquietdesigns so that I can see your lovely creations!

Let me start off by saying that I'm using the term "spring" loosely here, because the weather here in Vegas has been quite up and down the past month. I find that one day I'm in shorts and a tee, and the next I'm bundling up with a light scarf. As such, my "spring" wardrobe still includes a good amount of layered items. You can see my winter wardrobe here.

I'm also not going to hold myself to a specific timeline for wearing these items, because soon enough it will be sweltering here and I'll be opting to wear as little as is socially acceptable. And dresses. Lots of summer dresses.

Without further adieu, here's a look at my spring capsule wardrobe for 2015, a total of 44 items (which now seems like WAY too much...) * denotes a new addition, ** denotes a carry over from my winter wardrobe.

TOPS: Wild tank from Ross*, lace tank from Rhapsodielle*, grey vest, walk write wander wonder tee**, you me oui! tee**, black top* (similar here), black tank, taupe jersey top*, natural white jersey tank*, target vintage v neck tee in yellow**, striped jersey top*, blue long tank from marshall's*, striped tunic from ASOS, camel waterfall cardigan from target, striped Tory Burch shirt (hand me down), military jacket from H&M circa 2005, target vintage v neck tee in plum, grey cardigan from Forever21.

BOTTOMS: grey JCrew shorts, blue JCrew shorts, green old navy shorts, jersey skirt*, Hollister jean shorts, white Gap shorts.

BOTTOMS: aztec maxi skirt (hand me down), old navy rockstar jeans**, Hollister jeans, old navy rockstar jeans, Coral crop pants from Hottie, white jeans from Hottie, black leggings**, RBX cropped activewear pants from Marshall's*.
SHOES: mint converse, canvas leopard loafers from Target, Gizeh Birkenstocks*, Nike runners**, black converse, gold sandals from Le Chateua circa 2009.

And that's it! 44 items, which is a little more than I anticipated, but I need to keep my bases covered in terms of warm days and cool nights.

If you've blogged about your spring wardrobe, please comment below as I'd love to see yours!