is one the perfect number?

I am an only child. I feel that being an only child is part of who I am - I grew up with my parents attention, and we went EVERYWHERE together. Even now, I require a significant amount of "me" time. I grew up with a host of cousins that lived nearby, so I always had someone to play with. It wasn't until I am an adult with children of my own, that I realize my girls will only have grandparents on my side - no first cousins, no aunts or uncles. As opposed to childhood, when siblings fought constantly, I realized they became friends as adults. They also shared in taking responsibility for their aging parents, something that I will have to do on my own.

After the birth of my first daughter - I remember being so overwhelmed. I wanted to have more, but why would anyone put themselves through this again? Pregnancy, labor, the joys and pains of breastfeeding, the lack of sleep, the list went on and on. I guess I didn't see past the phase I was in. I decided that my daughter would be on only child her first year. I was an only child, surely she would be fine as well.

I waited 4 years to have another child. It took 4 years for me come around to the idea again. I honestly couldn't see doing it again so soon. We were a perfect family of 3 for so long. And now? I can't even imagine my life without my baby girl, and how close I came to closing that book forever.

Use this time to enjoy your baby boy. Don't worry about the what the future holds, or making decisions now. You have plenty of time!

I would just add to the comment above regarding don't worry about it now: Dom and I are really far apart in age, so I feel like I was raised like an only child, but now that we are adults, my brother-sister relationship with him is one of the best, if not the best, relationship I have with another person. With parents, there is the desire to live up to expectations, the generational difference; even with friends, people have their moments; with significant others, there are duties along with all of the good stuff. But with a sibling, there isn't really any of that, and the other person is always there. I realize you have a similar sibling situation so this idea probably isn't new, but I just wanted to say, even a far apart sibling is a really awesome thing to have. -V

Hi Rachel I've only just discovered your blog today. I felt exactly the same as you after my son was born. It took me around 18 months to even come around to the idea of another (even though I always knew I didnt want an only child). Even when I fell pregnant with my daughter I was still very nervous...did I REALLY want another one? I loved our little family unit of 3. However once my daughter was born we knew instantly it was the right decision for us. Don't get me wrong, two kids is more than twice as hard (in terms of hard work) but the rewards are worth it. And seeing our two together now is just magic (even when they are fighting!). I can only hope they are as close as my brother & I were growing up. Good luck....there is definately no rush though, being just 3 is lovely.

I have 3 siblings but they were raised in another state and I was raised as an only child here in Vegas. In addition my next oldest sibling is 7 years younger and the other two are 11 years younger than me so I totally agree with what V has to say above about siblings + age gaps. Personally I think growing up as an only child is ideal, but the older I get I am enjoying having more of a relationship with my siblings. Its almost a catch 22, growing up alone is great, but the older you get the more important it is to have a sibling. If I had children it would definitely be just one. I think growing up alone teaches one a lot of independence and maturity (instead of playing with a sibling I was usually learning from adults). I agree with the first comment that now as an adult I require a lot of me time, which is one of my favorite things about myself. I like that I can handle solitude.